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ambivalent

/æmˈbɪvələnt//æmˈbɪvələnt/·adjective
having mixed, contradictory feelings about something
Fig. 1 — Two magnets face each other across a pivot, and the needle between them is in love with both.
01Definition

To be ambivalent is to feel two ways at once — drawn and repelled, pleased and uneasy, all about the same thing. The word comes from ambi-, 'both', and the Latin valentia, 'strength': both pulls have force, so the feeling cannot settle. It describes a person's divided heart, not an unclear message, which is why it should not be confused with ambiguous. An ambivalent attitude does not waver because it lacks information; it wavers because genuine feelings fluctuate between yes and no.

02In use
  • iShe felt deeply ambivalent about the promotion: proud of the title, daunted by the hours.
  • iiPublic opinion on the reform is ambivalent, supportive in theory and anxious in practice.
  • iiiHe gave an ambivalent shrug, unable to say whether he really wanted to go.
03Collocations
  • ambivalent about
  • deeply ambivalent
  • an ambivalent attitude
  • remain ambivalent

Family ambivalence (noun) · ambivalently (adverb)

04Relations

=conflicted, torn, undecided, uncertain, equivocal

≠certain, decisive, unequivocal

05Compared
PairThe difference
ambivalent vs ambiguousQuick test: things are ambiguous (unclear meaning); people are ambivalent (mixed feelings).
06TOEFL & IELTS

A precise word for IELTS Speaking and Writing when your view is genuinely mixed: 'I'm ambivalent about…' signals nuance examiners reward. TOEFL reading uses it for characters' and authors' divided attitudes. The classic trap is confusing 'ambivalent' (mixed feelings in a person) with 'ambiguous' (more than one meaning in a thing) — keep them distinct. The noun is 'ambivalence'.

07Asked
Does ambivalent mean you don't care?
The opposite — and this is the word's most common misuse. Indifferent means no feeling either way; ambivalent means strong feelings both ways at once, each blocking the other. The needle in the scene above is not bored: it is in love with both magnets, which is precisely why it can never settle. Care too much twice over, and you are ambivalent.
What is ambivalent attachment?
In attachment theory, one of the insecure childhood patterns: a child whose caregiving was inconsistent becomes clingy and anxious, seeking closeness and resisting it in the same breath — drawn and distrustful at once. Clinicians usually call it anxious-ambivalent attachment, and studies link it to inconsistent early responsiveness rather than to any single event.
Who invented the word ambivalent?
A psychiatrist, surprisingly recently: Eugen Bleuler coined Ambivalenz around 1910 to describe simultaneous conflicting impulses — and the noun ambivalence is therefore older than the everyday adjective, which spread from psychiatry into general English. Few 'literary' words have so clinical a birth certificate.
Is it 'ambivalent about' or 'ambivalent towards'?
About is the everyday standard: 'I'm ambivalent about the move'. Towards (or toward) appears mainly in psychology and academic prose — 'ambivalent towards authority' — where the object is a person or institution. Never 'ambivalent of'. Whatever the preposition, the object is the thing your feelings split over.
Is being ambivalent a bad thing?
In language, no — it is simply an honest report that both pulls are real, and in essays 'I remain ambivalent about X' signals nuance rather than indecision. In relationship psychology, persistent ambivalence is treated less as a flaw than as a signal worth examining: something genuine sits on each side of the scale.
What is the difference between ambivalent and ambiguous?
One line: ambivalent describes a person's divided feelings; ambiguous describes a thing with two readings. A plan is ambiguous, you are ambivalent about it. The full untangling — memory trick included, both scenes side by side — is on the ambiguous vs ambivalent page linked in the 'Compared' list above.